Subject: Self-Introduction
Dear Brad,
My name is Frankie, 21 years old. I am a student from Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering(SIE) Group 1 of your Effective Communication class. I am writing this email to formally introduce myself.
Currently, I am pursuing a degree in SIE(Building Services). Prior to studying at Singapore Institute of Technology(SIT), I was studying Mechanical Engineering at Singapore Polytechnic(SP).
Growing up, I always enjoyed drawing during my free time as well as watching engineering programmes on television such as "Megastructures." I always found it very fascinating to witness engineers overcoming the odds to construct seemingly impossible feats such as the iconic Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and Sagrada Familia in Barcelona.
All these engineering marvels are the reason why I decided to join SIT's SIE(Building Service) degree programme. I feel that this programme is specialised and teaches me cutting edge software like Building Information Modelling(BIM). Most importantly, I feel SIT focuses on helping us be ready for the working life with the Integrated Work Study Programme(IWSP) as well as modules like Effective Communication. Through these modules, I feel that I learn skills that equip me to face the challenges of being a structural engineer.
My goals are to one day be able to achieve my aspirations to help build and construct an iconic structure that is known around the world. I find it really rewarding and inspiring to see your own creation come to fruition and I hope to achieve it. Thank you very much for reading this email, I hope it helped you to know me better and I am looking forward to learning more valuable skills from you.
With Regards,
Frankie (Group 1)
Commented on Kevin's blog post on "The Importance of English to Me." 15/9/16
Commented on Ali's blog post on "The Importance of English" 18/9/16
Commented on Chris's blog post "Formal letter to my instructor" 18/9/16
Revised as of 17/9/16
Revised as of 17/9/16
Hi Frankie, I have read the blog post and have the following comments.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I feel that there is room for correctness. Take for example, 'All these engineering marvels are the reason is why I decided to join SIT's Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Service) degree programme.' should be 'All these engineering marvels are the reason why I decided to join SIT's Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Service) degree programme.'
Another example would be 'Through this modules...', which should be 'Through these modules...'.
I find that the post is relatively concrete, I understood what you were writing and the flow of each paragraphs were coherent.
Thank You for your constructive feedback. I appreciate it very much. I will definitely take your feedback seriously and look to improve my post and to improve my writing.
DeleteCheers!
Hey Frankie, it a very revealing letter. I can tell why you were interested n joining the SIE course. However, there were some errors foung in your letter. For example, instead of writing "21 years of age", you could have just written 21 years old.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you might want to consider writing SIE instead of of the full form of SIE. It will make your letter look short and sweet.
All in all it was a good read, hope to see you soon!! :)
Thank you Ali for taking the time to read my blog. Appreciate your feedback very much. Will look to improve on my blog post. Cheers and see you in class!
DeleteHey Frankie,
ReplyDeleteI am glad to know that someone with a similar diploma background is also pursuing this degree programme. I believe we both are attracted to engineering based on similar aspects.
I enjoyed reading your post greatly as it brings the reader straight to the point. It is concrete and concise!
warmest regards,
Mingkang
Thanks Ming Kang for your kind feedback. Glad to hear you enjoyed reading my post. I will definitely look to improve my writing further. Appreciate your kind words! See you in class! Cheers!
Delete