In the article, "This Detriot House Is Being Turned Into A Living Model Of Cost-Saving Sustainable Design", Peters (2016) introduced a project named "Motown Movement", an initiative by three architecture students who bought a house in Detroit and converted it into a sustainable cost-efficient house. According to Peters (2016), the three students aimed to teach the community in Detroit different methods of achieving sustainability through affordable means. Peters shared that in the student's house, the lower level will be a “training centre” while the upper level houses a family in need. In-house systems included a roof veiled with solar panels, a “greywater system” and a “septic tank” as sources of renewable energy. Lukkes, one of the three students, hoped that through collaboration with their university, their project can become universal and reach out to other countries. However, the article was rather impassive as Peters failed to include emotional writing in her article, which I felt would have connected to us readers more.
Firstly, the article was impassive because Peters failed to share the feelings and thoughts of the community in Detroit in her article. The lack of emotion in her writing made it difficult for readers to connect to. In Peter's article, she focused only on the technical aspects of the project such as what the three students wanted to build and what the community in Detroit could improve on. Research studies (Hill, 2011) showed that readers like to feel emotion whenever they are reading. Readers like to immerse themselves within the article so that they can experience new things and step out of their own world. Peters should have known that the writings on her article have the ability to transfer from her and come alive in her readers. (Johansen, 2015) As such, it is very important for Peters to include emotion in her article, in order for us readers to connect ourselves with the project, "Motown Movement."
Furthermore, Peters only vaguely mentioned about the feelings of the community in Detroit by saying that "the people were much more positive." Peters should have elaborated further and included the views of the community in Detroit. The views of the community in Detroit would have connected to us readers and helped us experience how sustainability has benefitted them. A fine example was an article by Olin College, where senior citizens shared their feelings and struggles with the college students to help identify solutions to the senior citizen's struggles. "One project resulted in a team building a device to help elderly people get out of a car more easily" (Olin College of Engineering,2016). We can clearly see that sharing with the readers the process of understanding the needs of others through emotional writing allows us to feel for the senior citizens and see how much the project mean to them. As such, Peters should have focused more on the feelings of the Detroit community in her article to give us readers a better sense of the emotion behind the project, "Motown Movement."
In conclusion, though Peters was very detailed in the technical aspects of the project “Motown Movement”, more focus should have been on the feelings of the community in Detroit. It is important to note that by connecting to us readers in her article, Peters could have influenced our views greatly and received added support for "Motown Movement." With the added support from the readers of Peters article, it would enable the three students to bring "Motown Movement" to a global scale.
References:
Hill, B. (2011, February 8). Creating Emotion in Readers. Retrieved from http://theeditorsblog.net/2011/01/30/creating-emotion-in-the-reader/
Johansen, J. (2015, February 2). How To Create Strong Emotional Response In Your Reader. Retrieved from http://www.livewritethrive.com/2015/02/02/how-to-create-a-strong-emotional-response-in-your-readers/
Olin College of Engineering, Projects That Help Others. (2016). Retrieved from http://www.olin.edu/projects-research/help-others/
Peters, A. (2016, July 7). This Detroit House Is Being Turned Into A Living Model Of Cost-Saving Sustainable Design. World Changing Ideas. Retrieved from https://www.fastcoexist.com/3061563/world-changing-ideas/this-detroit-house-is-being-turned-into-a-living-model-of-cost-saving-s
